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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Madonna: Prophetess of Doom

Madonna has now become a prophetess of doom. Not The Madonna, as in St. Mary the Mother of God. But as in Madonna Ciccone, pop super-star, aka Esther.

According to Matt Drudge, Madonna has proclaimed that everyone will go to hell if they don't turn from their wicked ways. Uh, yeah. That's true. I believe that. And frankly, I'm glad to know she's figured that out.

Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that she has discovered the solution. Of course, admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery. So maybe she's made that crucial first step.

But the answer to hell is not the esoteric, Jewish, mystical cult, Hollywierd celebrity freakshow she has embraced in Kabbalah. Or Kabbalah-lite as is the version most of these movie hipsters are tinkering with right now. From things I've read, Madonna (I'll keep calling her by her Christian name, thankyouverymuch) is probably more serious about her religious pursuit than many of her entertainer colleagues. For so many of them (Britney, Paris, Demi), one gets the impression that Kabbalah is just the latest semi-religious fad. Kind of like the Jesus is My Homeboy T-shirts everyone was wearing a year ago.

Madonna, if you're out there reading my blog (as if), I am very happy that you have apparently had some new spiritual awakenings. However, the gnostico-Judaism you have entered holds no true enlightenment. Jesus Christ is the light of the world, the light that scatters all darkness. I sincerely pray that you will return to your Christian roots and discover the great blessing your namesake, the Theotokos, bore into the world. Be like our Lady and magnify the Lord Jesus Christ with us.

Turn from your wicked ways, yes. But do not turn toward a pack of deceptions for relief. Turn to the one who bore your wickedness in his own body to atone for your sins and mine.

[Note: If any of you have Madonna's e-mail address, please forward this post to her.]

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The Cubicle Reverend said...

So many jokes, so little time. Isn't this the same woman who made a porno? And, even worse, had a relationship with Vanilla Ice?

Anonymous said...

I know that the Lord desires all to be saved and come to a knowledge of the Truth in Him, but I can't help but wonder if a caution is in order: See Matt. 7:6

The Terrible Swede said...

Umm... Pr. Steigemeyer did you forget she is also a Prophetess of Disco? I think that is a little more severe, sir.


Powerball said...

I'm glad to hear she has acknowledged that her rise to fame by rolling around singing "Like a Virgin" was bit trashy.

It's great to know that she has denounced her book "SEX" has sworn never to appear nude in another pornographic magazine.

I'm sure she feels bad about all the $$$$ she made by burning a cross in her video, tossing a grenade at the President and the making videos that even MTV with their lofty standards refused to air.

I'm expecting her to issue an appology to all who had to face the constant video replays of her in a lip lock with two other pop stars.

If we are going to hell I'm sure "Madonna" will be there to greet us and show us around.

The Cubicle Reverend said...

Now that's funny.

Yvonne said...

Just to point out that the version of Kabbalah that Madonna got involved in is not proper Kabbalah, it's some weird guy who has figured out that you can make a lot of money out of gullible pop-stars by selling them "blessed" water and bits of red string at 18 dollars a time.

As to your comments regarding salvation, there is no need for salvation in the Jewish world-view (insofar as I understand it) so I guess it's a bit irrelevant.

Also I don't think Madonna was the name she was given at her christening somehow... though Esther doesn't really suit her, does it? Being as the story of Esther is a thinly-disguised version of the legend of Ishtar (a Pagan goddess).

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